Dear You,

They say “It takes a village” and you hate that saying because it’s a stark and painful reminder that you don’t have one. It hurts, it rankles and it smarts doesn’t it?! I know that you often feel alone, depleted, invisible and torn. As though there’s nowhere or no one in which to turn for help. You might at times feel jealous of those who do have support. Anger, too, at your circumstances. Regret for the choices you may have made. Despair at the choices which felt as though they were taken from you. Exhaustion at the monotony of it all, wishing and wanting and needing a break.

These feelings of yours?
They’re all so so so valid and understandable.
Anyone in your shoes would feel the same.
It’s not a pity party for one when you get lost in those feelings – you’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling, whenever you’re feeling them.

When feelings are tricky to feel, they’re a sign that how things currently are, isn’t working for you. You knew that already though, didn’t you?! That this now isn’t how you’d have chosen life to be.

Please know though, that not having that support, those people to lean on, or the help you need and deserve is not at all a reflection of your worthiness. It’s not (honest, it’s really, really, really not). I promise. Sometimes things turn out in the most unexpected of ways and for reasons aplenty, we don’t have what we need when we need it.

You probably always feel as though you’re spread too thin.
That there’s too much on your plate.
That there are too many balls being dropped.

Without that village, you don’t have anyone to sing your praises. You don’t have anyone to celebrate the sheer lionheartedness of who you are (yes, you). You don’t have anyone to remind you that for every ball you drop, there are gazillions you manage to keep afloat like some octopus-armed legend – honestly, it’s mindblowing what you achieve day in and day out. For every mistake and blunder, there are too-many-to-mention things you’re doing oh-so-wonderfully-right. My hope is that you can press pause, just for a wee moment, rest here and try to see it that way. Flip the switch…see the opposite side of the coin. Change the lens so you can zoom in on what you’re doing tremendously. There’s such a lot of that you-being-tremendous-stuff. There is.

When you’re at the centre of it all, the fringes, the everywhere because you have to be, please know that you are enough. You’re doing enough, being enough. More than enough in every which way. We’re not supposed to have to do this life thing alone and the way you keep showing up is nothing short of remarkable. It’s a feat of epic resilience. Of hope. A testament to your grit, your resourcefulness, and your courage and heart that you do.

Whilst there’s no magic wand I can wave about to make that ‘village’ magically appear, I wanted to remind you that things do and will change. Things do and will get better. But mostly, to let you know, that you’re one heck of a big deal, you’re important and you matter, you’re awesome – in the truest sense of the word.

Much love,

Jayne

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